Getting Started Using Online Personals

Getting Started Using Online Personals!

Let's Do It! Start with the Basics!

Pick a Stand-out Username

Your username is like your smile -- the first thing that people see - so try to make it shine! Keep it short and catchy, and remember that whatever you write should be a true reflection of you and something that will attract the kind of people you want to go out with. Funny always gets peoples' attention, as does heartfelt and honest.

Don't Be Shy! Contact the People That Catch Your Eye or your Heart!

Don't just sit by your Inbox waiting for an email from Cinderella or Prince Charming to miraculously appear. If you're really serious about finding a date, your soul mate or even a friend, the best thing to do is to stay active on the site, and that means getting out there and contacting the people you're interested in. This might seem scary to some of you at first, but remember, everyone is here to mix & mingle, and a simple note may be all it takes to ignite the spark you've been waiting for.

Here are some tips to get the ball rolling:

MAKE A PLAN. Set time aside every week to look through profiles, and keep a sharp eye out for new members who have the qualities you're looking for.
SET GOALS. Try to contact a minimum number of members every week (3 is a good number). But only contact the ones that seem interesting to you.
KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. Know yourself and know what you're looking for-and say it directly to those you want to meet.
DON'T BE SHY. Ask a lot of questions-this is your chance to get the skinny before you meet.
PAY ATTENTION. "Listen" carefully to responses-they're very telling; ask questions if something bothers you.
GIVE EVERYONE A CHANCE. It may take a few emails to get warmed up, and if romance isn't in the air, you may have found a new friend.
BE YOURSELF. Be open and honest in your profile and email-it's you they want to get to know.
HAVE FUN. Be creative, flirtatious, vivacious with your words-and laugh whenever possible.
SHOW GENUINE INTEREST. Mention what caught your eye in their profile and ask engaging questions to keep the communication open.
SHOW THAT SMILE. Post photos with your profile to help break the ice.
BE COURAGEOUS. Give it a whirl-you never know who you might meet until you try.

Defining Romance
There are always a number of men who look vaguely offended when they hear the word "romance," and women who mutter about how they loathe pink hearts. But it doesn't have to be that way. Romance is a cliche only if you allow yourself to think of it that way.

You don't have to serenade people in balconies or build enormous monuments to your love. Romance works well enough without Michael Bolton sappiness and extravagant gestures. You just have to keep in touch with what it's all about.

Sharing Yourself
Sometimes, there is nothing more romantic than truly sharing. The "give in order to receive" rule works here too. Yes, that sounds suspiciously like philanthropy, but while it is actually romantic to give up the last slice of pizza to the one you love, think about sharing on a deeper level - a poem you love, a song that speaks to you, a place that brings magic back into your life, or just a moment when everything clicks and falls into place.

Show your partner or someone you are beginning to know, something really beautiful. Share your innermost secrets, because that's what allows them to look at you and know that you two have a unique connection.

Careful Flirting
Why flirt when you've "got" the other person, and why flirt when years or even just months of being together have taken the passion out of your relationship? Life is all about balance.

You've got to make sure that seriousness and laughter meet halfway. Responsibility and familiarity are great, when tempered with judicious doses of abandon.

Flirting is fun and light-hearted, it reminds you of how things were and still could be, and besides, too much heavy stuff takes the romance out of romance. So bat those eyelashes and propose midnight walks. Just be sure that when your partner flirts with you, you're responsive.

No one likes feeling rejected, especially when they are making an effort to brighten your life.

The element of surprise
This is a natural extension of flirting. Be open to surprises and change in the routine, and you experience one of the fundamental joys of romance, the unexpected. Romance is all about being stimulated in new ways - you can never forget your first kiss, can you? Some people are afraid of commitment simply because it's the thrill of the first kiss or the first caress that they know they will miss. The element of surprise is one of the most vital, energizing things about being romantic. So say no to routine and predictability.

Respect Yourself and Partner
When you're in love you are automatically considerate and go out of your way to meet the other person halfway, right? Yet, if you think about it, romance is a pretty hedonistic feeling. It's all about another person making you feel like your world just expanded and filled with light and music.

But we've all seen this lovely feeling turn into pure selfishness when the first thrill dies down. People start taking each other for granted and expecting the other person to accommodate their every desire.

A healthy dose of respect means that you treat each other with greater understanding and sensitivity - qualities essential to keeping romance alive and truly meaningful.

It's an "Us" Thing
We all know that sex and romance are two different beasts, especially for the ladies, that guys are inarticulate and would replace red roses and candlelit dinners with a football game and beer. Utter Rubbish.

Believing this is akin to believing in the generalization that all men and women are the same because we all have two ears, two eyes and a nose. It can also limit your ideas about romantic experiences to red roses, teddy bears, pink ribbons and the like.

Every situation, every individual, and every couple is different, and when you realize that, you're on your way to having a truly healthy sense of the romantic.

You've got to make your own romantic history with another person, and if this means recognizing the significance of a stinky t-shirt, or that awful room you shared in a Cambodian village, so be it. Romance is not just this mushy thing you read about in women's magazines. It is what you make of it.

Take it easy
You know how queasy you were when you ate a whole chocolate cake instead of just one small, albeit sinfully calorie laden slice. The best things in life come in small, frequent doses.

Overdoing the whole romance thing can give you a hangover or aversion syndrome pretty fast, so other than the fundamentals, dispense the gestures judiciously. Make sure you keep the other person - and yourself - coming back for more.

Romance and Hollywood
The glow of the setting sun, the wind not a notch too low or a notch too high, the hint of love and the whiff of romance in the air, his mischievous smile and her faintly embarrassed look add to the moment that creates the magic of the perfect romantic Hollywood moment until the director cries out, " CUT," that is.

Everything in Hollywood is based on the creation of the perfect moment: the perfect setting, the perfect flowers or diamonds, the perfect designer outfits, the flawless smiles, the perfect person and the perfect romance. Perfection is the mantra that everyone lives by, even off screen at glittering events and award nights. People are a pale imitation of real life figures and Stepford girlfriends or boyfriends are the norm.

The subliminal messages sent out by the romantic comedies and the chick flicks create an image in our mind as to what romance is all about and its effect is so strong that we are disappointed when things in real life do not turn out just so.

Romance is one of the most exciting things to happen to anyone. We are usually in love with the concept of love created by Hollywood. What we are unable to comprehend is the difference between real and reel life.

The concept of perfection is so deeply embedded in our psyche that we fail to see the beauty in reality. Today our obsession with Hollywood is so great that the nip/tuckers of the world are making a fortune. People are dissatisfied with themselves and refuse to acknowledge the beauty in anyone different. A point in the matter is the fairytale romance and A - list wedding of Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt.

They embodied our idea of perfection. Every girl wanted the Jen haircut, while every man wanted the Pitt smile. Today, after the romance has gone out the window for these two and Angelina Jolie has replaced the golden girl from Friends, everyone now wants the famous Jolie pout. It just goes to show that even the rich and famous are not free from the hassles of the make believe Hollywood romance.

Why else would an eligible bachelor like George Clooney still be single? The head honchos in Hollywood have always created role models with feet of clay - like Marilyn Monroe or Elvis Presley. A long hard look into at their lives shows us the chinks in the armor.

Both of these legendary and desirable figures were so unhappy with their lives that they committed suicide. There is not much hope for us mere mortals unless we realize that a Hollywood movie is just to enjoy for those 2 hours. Then we must step back into reality and be happy with the hand life has dealt us.

We should count our blessings while we still can, or else the whirlpool of stardust dreams that is Hollywood will suck us in and spit us out as bitter, unhappy, and disillusioned individuals.

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